Out of Control! Read online

  Dedication

  To Jill Davis,

  Olga’s other mom

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  1. New Friends

  2. Lots of Needs

  3. Mini Planets

  4. OOOF!

  5. Awesome

  6. Cleaning Is My Life Now

  7. The Runt

  8. An Experiment

  9. Let’s Go Out and Play!

  10. The Package

  11. I Need a Hand

  About the Author

  Books by Elise Gravel

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Welcome to my latest notebook. My name is Olga. You might be familiar with me since I’m the kid who discovered a fascinating new animal species:

  Here’s what I know about her so far:

  My specimen is an adorable female that I named Meh because of the sound she makes all the time.

  I used to be a lonely kid. My only friend was my spider, Rita, who lives under the sink.

  But since I discovered Meh, my life has changed for the better.

  I used to think that animals were the only friends I would ever make. I made this bar graph to compare my feelings for humans and animals. Not hard to guess who the winner is!

  I still think that animals are way cooler than humans. If I was given the chance to redesign the human body, I’d give us more animal features.

  Because of Meh I began to go out and meet interesting humans. She gave a purpose to my life.

  Life with Meh is chock-full of amazing discoveries, but the latest one is by far the biggest. I opened my fridge yesterday to find her snuggled among a bunch of Seven of them, to be precise.

  I don’t know about you, but finding seven baby Olgamuses in my fridge is not something that happens to me every day!

  I think I could say without exaggerating that yesterday was the most exciting (and exhausting) day of my life.

  And they were

  So delicate, so tiny, so weird looking! How I itched to pick one up to look at it more closely, but when I got my hand too close to them, Meh didn’t like it one bit.

  Some of my friends were at my house with me when I discovered the babies. They were as fascinated as I was.

  We spent a few minutes watching them quietly. Then one of my friends, Farla, got a funny look on her face and screamed:

  I call Farla and her sister, Shalala, the Lalas. They’re sort of my frenemies, and they have a tendency to notice yucky things and are easily disgusted. I find this annoying, but I guess they have other good qualities.

  Plus, they were right about the fridge. It was HORRIFYING.

  I’m not very good at cleaning. Like many scientists, I’m very busy with my research, and sometimes cleaning ends up at the bottom of my priority list. Anyway, my fridge is usually pretty empty. Yesterday, though, it was not.

  It was cleanup time, all right. We got rid of a bunch of junk, wiped down the glass shelves using some Windex and a sponge, and cleared a whole shelf out for Meh and the babies.

  Chuck came back with the dog bed that Mister used as a baby.

  I didn’t want to pick the babies up and disturb the little family, so I gently closed the fridge door and waited to see if Meh would transfer her babies to the cozy shelf.

  While we waited, I opened my notebook and wrote down four OBSERVATIONS:

  This notebook is going to fill up pretty quickly! Oh, how I wish I could see right through the fridge door! I’d just spend every minute looking at the babies.

  Any excuse to go to Mr. Hoopah’s store is good. I love that place.

  What I’ve found recently at

  We told him about the baby Olgamuses. He was very excited.

  Mr. Hoopah disappeared into the back of the store, which seems like the most mysterious place. It must be full of treasures like Ali Baba’s cave. I sometimes wonder if he lives there.

  He came back quickly carrying a giant jar. He looked very proud.

  I thanked him and took the jar, and we were about to leave when I felt my stomach grumble. Chuck, the Lalas, and I looked around for interesting snacks. Here were some of our choices:

  Of course, I went for the mac-and-cheese-flavored ramen. The others picked their own snacks (fried jellyfish chips for Shalala, crab cakes for Farla, and vegetarian chicken wings for Chuck), and then Farla asked me if I wanted to go sit at the picnic table outside the store with them.

  At home, I set my snack down on the table, washed my hands, and opened the fridge door to take one last look at the babies before going to bed. They were quiet, half asleep, and so was Meh.

  I played them a little lullaby on the ukulele that I composed on the spot. I felt very inspired.

  Then I went to sleep right next to the fridge, on the floor. I had totally forgotten to eat my mac and cheese.

  I woke up early in the morning and cleaned up the rest of the kitchen as best as I could. From what I know, newborns are vulnerable to infections and viruses. Their environment has to be kept clean.

  Normally, I would hate doing all this cleaning, but I didn’t mind. Why? Because it was

  At around eight a.m., Meh called to me from inside the fridge. I opened the door, and she jumped out.

  Meh ran to her food bowl and started wolfing down her olives. She seemed to enjoy the bacon-wrapped olives as much as Mr. Hoopah thought she would.

  While she was eating, I took a look at the babies. They were all squirming around. Without Meh right there, it was easier to get a closer look.

  I will draw them here so you can take a look too:

  Meh came back and sat next to me for a minute. I took some time to pet her, hug her, and tell her how proud I was of her big accomplishment. After all, giving birth is a huge deal!

  She was quickly shedding her extra pregnancy weight, but she still looked tired.

  She hopped back on the shelf, snuggled with her babies, and started making her purring sound again. She sounded a little bit like a dishwasher. She looked so happy and so proud. I took a photo on my phone.

  I closed the fridge door to let the new family have a rest. But then I didn’t know what to do next. I felt a bit restless.

  So I kept myself busy by writing down a few observations I’d come up with:

  I spent the rest of the evening feeding Rita dead flies I found on the windowsill. I like Rita, but she’s not the most talkative companion. (Sorry, Rita)

  I can’t wait until the babies get a little

  Cleaning water bowls is fine, but I wanted to find a more helpful way to support Meh in her new life. Of course, I couldn’t nurse the babies, so I felt useless.

  There is one thing I do really well, and that is RESEARCH. I mean, there are other things I do well, too, like:

  But I’m not sure these skills would help Meh much.

  I decided to go to the library and get some books about how to take care of newborns. Sure, I could always do research online on my computer, but I really like the library because it has:

  And above all, my friend Ms. Swoop, the nicest librarian ever, was at her desk today.

  Ms. Swoop and I found only one book from the grown-ups section:

  “Hmm,” she said. “We only have this book about caring for human babies. I was hoping to find a book about baby hamsters or golden retrievers, but we don’t have any here.”

  I spent the whole afternoon studying everything there is to know about human newborns. There was nothing in there about caring for animal babies, but I still had a fun time reading it.

  Of course, none of this has anything to do with baby Olgamuses. I still found good basic info in there that I’ll be able to apply to my new little pals.

  At this stage, Mam
a Meh is pretty much the only thing her babies need.

  Then the doorbell rang. It was Chuck.

  He looked at the babies for a while. They were nursing. Mister sniffed at the babies, and Meh licked Mister on the nose.

  If Meh is an alien, she clearly comes from a planet that’s not from our solar system. We would already know if life existed on a neighboring planet. So we looked for planets that have been discovered outside our solar neighborhood. They are called

  There are hundreds of them!

  Here’s a list of seven exoplanets that would make cool names if we shorten them:

  I love these names, but I guess we’d better wait till they grow a little bit to name them. Or how will we tell them apart?

  (I hope not!)

  *Seven babies born at the same time from the same mother are called septuplets!

  I’m sorry I skipped a whole week. So many things happened at the same time. I just didn’t have a minute to myself!

  Here’s what happened since I wrote my last entry:

  Here’s a diagram of the inside of a baby Olgamus’s

  WHOA!!!

  They are starting to grow fur, so it won’t be long until I can’t see in there anymore. Each one looks slightly different, so I can finally tell them apart. Now I can name them:

  They are all adorable, but look what they do!

  I built a cage around Rita to protect her.

  At night, they won’t let me sleep. They jump on my tummy and wake me up screaming at the top of their lungs:

  Upsi is the biggest rascal. In just a few days, he’s eaten two of my houseplants, peed on my computer keyboard, bitten Mister’s tail, broken my lamp, and destroyed my favorite stuffed animal.

  I like when the Lalas and Chuck come over to help me and babysit. I swear, without them, I’d be out of my mind.

  This morning, they came to help me clean up. Shalala made some mac and cheese with pickles (my very favorite meal) because I never have time to make it myself. I really used to NOT LIKE these girls, but they are definitely growing on me.

  Wait a minute.

  We tried to eat the mac and cheese while the babies were jumping on the table and climbing on our shoulders.

  Then my phone rang.

  This was great! Finally a chance to tell the world about my scientific discovery and my research!

  Chuck and the Lalas wanted to know what the call was about. When I told them, I could tell the Lalas were impressed (and probably a bit jealous too). They love Awesome magazine.

  “Will there be a photo shoot?” asked Farla.

  “I guess so. Awesome magazine is 99 percent photos,” I said. “They have pictures everywhere!”

  “EEEEEEE!!! Can we come? Can we come? Can we come?” asked Shalala. “We’ll do your hair!”

  Sigh. Again, they’re only trying to help.

  “Okay,” I said. “See you tomorrow!”

  After they all left, I sat down to watch them for a while. They all started to nurse ferociously. All but Mu, who was getting shoved away by his siblings.

  They wouldn’t let him in. Every time he got near a nipple, Upsi would shove him away, or Sweeps would bite his tail, or Denis would steal the nipple.

  I felt bad for Mu. I have to make sure this isn’t happening too much. I want all the babies to get enough to eat.

  I’ll have to keep an eye on the situation.

  The people from Awesome magazine were here today. It was exhausting and not exactly what I expected.

  They came in the morning with their photographer and spent about an hour putting stuff on my face and doing crazy things with my hair.

  The Lalas were disappointed. They think they are THE beauty experts, but this time they just had to sit in the corner and watch the professionals.

  After the makeup artists were done, the reporter introduced herself. Her name was Dorina Spirula. She looked very excited to see me. I went and got Meh and started telling her about the night I discovered her and what I’ve found out about the species since then, but—

  I didn’t like it one bit, but I guess a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do in the name of science, so I put on the dress. Then they made me sit on my red chair holding Meh, and they snapped away for what felt like the whole afternoon.

  I was relieved when it was over. Finally! We would get to the interview part! I went to get my first notebook to show Dorina Spirula, but when I came back, she was putting on her jacket and heading out the door.

  And just like that, they were gone, leaving my house smelling like the perfume section of a department store.

  I was soooo disappointed. They didn’t let me talk about my research. AT ALL. It was like they weren’t even interested!

  The Lalas were way more excited about the whole thing than I was. They had spent their time taking pictures for their Instasnap accounts, and they showed me their favorites:

  I changed back to my beloved dress and sat with Meh on the bed. She was not happy with her hair gel either. She was all sticky and looked miserable.

  I hugged her and gave her a kiss, but when I got up, I saw something was spread out all over the living room rug!

  RAINBOW POOP EVERYWHERE! AHH! It was rainbow poop from all the babies. The Lalas helped me clean up. The quantity of little rainbow pellets was phenomenal.*

  It was lunchtime, so we went to Mr. Hoopah’s store to get something to eat.

  When Mr. Hoopah saw us, the look on his face reminded me that I was still wearing the makeup the Awesome magazine makeup crew had put on me. The crazy hairdo too!

  The storeroom! I had always been curious about what treasures were hiding in there. Apparently, the Lalas had too, because they both rushed in “to help me.”

  It was exactly like I had imagined.

  There was a table set with a pumpkin-and-apple pie and a bottle of beet juice and very fancy china.

  We did, and it felt good to have a break from the house and all the creatures that lived in it. I felt a bit guilty about being THAT happy spending time away from my Olgamuses, but then Mr. Hoopah came in with a potato-and-cheese cake that totally took my mind off all of my responsibilities.

  After we ate lunch, we took time to look at all the photos of Mr. Hoopah on the wall. I had no idea he had led such an interesting life!

  Mr. Hoopah had time to do all that stuff AND take care of his store 24/7?

  I wanted to read about some of the places Mr. Hoopah had been, but instead, I came home to a giant mess. And a circus!

  I wondered what else had happened that I didn’t see!

  I was only one person, and there were seven Olgamuses running around! I was way too tired to take care of their messes, so I threw them all into the bathtub.

  Just like their mom, the babies LOVE baths, and I ask you: What’s cuter than a bathtub full of happy little furry creatures?

  After they were dry, I wrapped them all in a big fluffy blanket and carried them to my bed, where we all fell asleep almost instantly.

  I skipped a couple more days of entries because, as I said before, I’m pretty much a human washing machine now, and a human washing machine doesn’t have much time for research.

  Here’s a pie chart of my daily life these days:

  It’s very hard to find time to write down all my discoveries about the babies. Here are some I made in the last few days about their emerging personalities:

  The postman brought me something today: the newest issue of Awesome magazine.

  First of all, I look absolutely ridiculous on the cover with all that makeup. It’s not me at all!

  Secondly, they made a spelling mistake. Look!

  They took the ONE piece of important information about Meh and managed to get it wrong. I rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain.

  Mistakes or not, the Lalas were going to love seeing it, so I thought I should go next door and show them.

  They were more than thrilled: it was as if they had come face-to-face with Bip Bibop, their favorite Korean pop s
tar.

  I never knew the human voice could reach such a high pitch. They sounded more like seagulls than humans.

  We called Chuck to show him too. He came, looked at the article, and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.

  I hadn’t really been all the way inside the Lalas’ house, and I was surprised to realize how much I LOVED their place. First of all, it was so QUIET! And it smelled good too. Clean and perfumy, a very stark contrast to my own place (especially these days).

  But I didn’t stay there for too long. It’s a weird feeling—I’m exhausted from taking care of my pets, but I can’t stand being away from them either.